I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I will pee on everything he values.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
