so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
