Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
