Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
