I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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