Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
