At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I need to stop coming to work sober
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
