I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
