i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
