we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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