well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
