idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
