No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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