i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
