I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
