I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize