Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So drunk its hurt
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
