Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
