I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
