Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Everclear isn't food dammit
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
