hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
