the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
