It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
