I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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