so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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