And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
