Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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