Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
