Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize