I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
