I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
