Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
