Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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