We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
