Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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