I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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