Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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