i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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