Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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