I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
