Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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