The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just found puke in my bra..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
