Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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