Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
