Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize