Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
