Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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