Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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