He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
