she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
