the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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