they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
where are my eyebrows?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
