I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Fuck appropriateness.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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