problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
