This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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