Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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