Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
This house was built for laser tag.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
